Gold

For all the people that never feel like they are good enough...this is for you. For all the teenage girls that are so insecure...this is for you. And for all of the people that are unsure of their worth...this is for you.

I recall as a young child, around 5th grade, when I was cleaning out my closet with my mother and my father came into the room. He saw the pile of clothes that no longer fit (you grow when you're young, if you didn't know...) and immediately blurted out, "If you'd lose some weight, you might could fit into some of your clothes." I began to cry, and he REFUSED to apologize.  Any male in his right mind knows that you never comment on a girl's weight...much less if it is a young girl. Those words he said continued to haunt me for many years. As a young girl, I felt my body was less than perfect and I felt that I was never good enough. This comment led to struggles with eating disorders throughout most of my middle school years. 

Let's fast forward to my freshman year in high school, when my parents divorced. For all of my life, my grandfather meant everything to me. He was the most important person in my life, no doubt. Freshman year, things went downhill. One week into the school year (freshman year), my grandfather made an unexpected phone call. Out of nowhere, he called. I put it on speakerphone as he asked, and me and my mother sat and listened to him tell me I was worthless, that I needed to "get off my pedestal," and that I was going nowhere in my life. [Wait, what? This phone call seriously came out of nowhere and still to this day I don't know why he would even think about doing that.] Needless to say, a man so important in my life saying that crushed me. I felt like my heart was gone. I felt worthless. I remember running to my bed and crying. He hung up, but my mother called him back, put the phone on speakerphone, and let him listen to me wail. My mom said, "See! See what you have done to your granddaughter?!" and he replied, "Good, I'm glad." 
This phone call was a great way to spend the first week of my freshman year. I could not shake it. I began to go into a deep depression...feeling so incredibly useless. It was a conversation I could never forgive. Through that rough time after the phone call, I was continually told, "They're missing out." As a child, you are always told not to brag. But, after thinking about that comment, I began to think of all the wonderful things about myself. Truth be told...they ARE missing out...cause I'm pretty freakin' awesome. Although this isn't something you need to go around saying, each of us need to know our worth...and after that, I began seeing my true worth.

Three years later (December 2012), I decided to give him another chance at a relationship with me. [...with him refusing to apologize for that phone call.] I went and saw him in the hospital, went over for a few random visits and such...I thought everything was going great. I even had Christmas with them. Maybe this was the beginning of a decent relationship. [It's never that simple, guys] A few days after Christmas gathering, I got another of those dreaded phone calls. This time, I was at my best friend Jordan's house, and let him listen. This time, I got told I was a bad Christian, worthless, and he continually stated I was "immature." I remember telling him what I had been told for years..."You're missing out cause I'm pretty freaking awesome!" Although I shed many tears over this conversation, it didn't bother me as much because I saw my worth even when he didn't. 

With the help of my relationship with God, I realized my true worth...my worth in God's eyes. My worth isn't decided by my grandfather's opinion.

Gold is one of the most precious metals on this earth, and each one of us are a piece of Gold in God's eyes. 

Britt Nicole's song, "Gold" sums it up perfectly:

You were walking on the moon, now you're feeling low
What they said wasn't true, you're beautiful
Sticks and stones break your bones, I know what you're feeling
Words like those won't steal your glow, you're one in a million

This, this is for all the girls, boys all over the world
Whatever you've been told, you're worth more than gold
So hold your head up high, it's your time to shine
From the inside out it shows, you're worth more than gold
(Gold gold, you're gold)
You're worth more than gold
(Gold gold, you're gold)

Well everybody keeps score, afraid you're gonna lose
Just ignore they don't know the real you
All the rain in the sky can't put out your fire
Of all the stars out tonight, you shine brighter

This, this is for all the girls, boys all over the world
Whatever you've been told, you're worth more than gold
So hold your head up high, it's your time to shine
From the inside out it shows, you're worth more than gold
(Gold gold, you're gold)
You're worth more than gold
(Gold gold, you're gold)

So don't let anybody tell you that you're not loved
And don't let anybody tell you that you're not enough
Yeah there are days that we all feel like we're messed up
But the truth is that we're all diamonds in the rough
So don't be ashamed to wear your crown
You're a king you're a queen inside and out
You glow like the moon, you shine like the stars
This is for you, wherever you are

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, oh, oh,
You're gold

This, this is for all the girls, boys all over the world
Whatever you've been told, you're worth more than gold
(So hold your head) So hold your head up high,
It's your time to shine
From the inside out it shows, you're worth more than gold
(gold gold, you're gold)
You're worth more than gold
(gold gold you're gold)

So don't be ashamed to wear your crown
You're a king you're a queen inside and out

Never feel like you're not good enough. Because you are. 

Blessings,

Faith